W.A.L.T recall events through the eyes of an animal.
Success Criteria
I know I will be successful when my recount has a
- Title
- Orientation: When? Who? Where? Why?
- Sequence of events: What happened? Describe using the senses (hear, taste, see, smell and feel).
- Personal Comment: How did the events make you feel?
(First draft)
Time to migrate.
It's a beautiful December day sadly It’s time to migrate away from the African Savannah. But we had to or we will be dehydrated and starving. Lucky I'm protected by my family, mum, my dad, and the herd. My dad is the lead bull of the herd. So I can follow in my dad's footstep. If my dad stops walking, the other calves and I have to run back to the middle of the herd so when the herd charges,the other calves and I don't get hurt by the pride of lions or other predators if they attack.
(second draft)
(Baby calf)
Dad, mum, me and the herd were walking along the river bank with dad mum and in the front. Suddenly dad stopped in front of me as I bumped into him. Dad saw a pride of lions up ahead so he says,"Walk quietly away so we don't alert them."
"Ooh no, we've alerted the pride, run for your lives, back to the herd." I was dashing back to the herd but they got me. Sadly I was too slow! I let out a big scream, "Ahhhh!" They dug their claws into my body pulling me to the side causing me to get flung into the water, splash, making a lot of water go high in the sky. It made me get seen by the crocodile. Suddenly it attacked me by snapping and biting, trying to get a grip on me. I thought I might die for loss of blood or getting ripped in half. I screamed out the loudest scream I had ever done, "Ahhhh!!!" Now I got a sore throat. They were pulling me but the crocodile lost me as I was in the water. I smelt blood when the crocodile took some skin off of my body. The lions helped me to get on land to eat me. Lucky for me I can hear the herd come and they charged after the lions one by one. I got saved because the lions all ran away. Luckily for mum and dad. stand as I thought I could not stand because the thing that happend today. I ran back to the herd, they were so relieved like me, happy to be alive. But I wish this was a dream so I can wake up at home with the herd but sadly it wasn't.
At last we are done migrating away from home and friends. luckily we are eating food and drinking water In the the sun. Im glad im still on earth with my family one day I will be the lead bull and and hope I don't see that pride of lions again.
well done. i like it
ReplyDeletethank you for the nice comment
DeleteWow that is some goog wrok keep it up
ReplyDeletethank you for the nice comment
DeleteWow that is some good work keep it up
ReplyDeleteWonderful job Andrew keep it up.I still liked your work. But you might wanna check some of your words. Like what?
ReplyDeletewhy did you say like what and thank you for the nice comment
Delete